How do You answer your toddler's questions about genitals?

Susanne Ayers Denham, developmental psychologist
No need to worry. Keep it short and sweet, and your toddler will follow your lead. As parents, we can get anxious when children ask about anything remotely sexual. But your child's curiosity about genitals is no different than her questions about eyes, ears, feet, noses, and other less private parts.

And genitals are pretty interesting, as body parts go. Her questions are only natural — after all, she has to learn about private parts from someone, and it's best for that someone to be you. How should you respond? Be direct, and stay matter-of-fact. Follow the rule of thumb: "Is this how I would tell her about elbows or knees?" Give her the anatomically correct name for the body part ("vagina," "penis") and avoid baby talk — using funny or silly words will just confuse her and, if anything, makes the discussion a bigger deal. If she asks what they're for, you can say that genitals are for going to the bathroom and making babies. She may also ask why Daddy's or her brother's genitals are different from hers. Point out that each person is unique: Her best friend's eyes are blue while hers are brown, and Grandma's nose is smaller than Grandpa's. In the same vein, boys' private parts look different from girls'. Keep it simple, and if you don't act embarrassed, she won't be, either.

Overweight women less likely to keep breastfeeding

(Reuters Health) - The heavier a woman is when she becomes pregnant, the less likely she is to stick with breastfeeding long-term, a new study from Denmark shows.

While U.S. studies have also shown that heavier women are less likely to nurse their infants, the current investigation took place in a country where breastfeeding is nearly universal and receives plenty of social support, suggesting that there is some biological mechanism by which excess weight interferes with breastfeeding success, the study's authors say.

"It's some sort of hormonal imbalance, potentially, we don't know for sure," Dr. Jennifer L. Baker of Copenhagen University Hospital, the study's lead author, told Reuters Health, pointing out that one study found that secretion of the hormone prolactin was blunted in overweight nursing women. But the findings also show, she added, that with plenty of assistance even very obese women can breastfeed successfully.

To better understand factors that might be involved in early termination of breastfeeding by heavier women, Baker and her team looked at 37,459 women Danish women who delivered infants between 1999 and 2002, following them for 18 months after they gave birth.
Among women who were morbidly obese (body mass index of 40 or greater), 14.4 percent had stopped exclusive breastfeeding by the time their child was a week old, compared with 3.5 percent of normal-weight women. Throughout the course of the study, the likelihood of stopping breastfeeding rose with BMI.

Given the high prevalence of overweight and obesity among women of reproductive age in the US — the percentage of women in their 20s and 30s have BMIs of 40 or greater is at an historic high of 8 percent — the findings are worrisome, Baker and her team note.

However, even the heaviest women in the current study were able to initiate and continue breastfeeding, which is hopeful, Baker said.

"We clearly could have a problem, but if we could improve the overall situation I think we could help a lot more women become successful at breastfeeding," said Baker. For example, she pointed out, lactation consultants can be extremely helpful for women who are having difficulties.

"Maternal obesity itself is really just an indicator that a woman may need additional assistance in order to successfully breastfeed her infant," she concluded.

What you can do:

Breastfeed your child if you can. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding your baby for at least the first year of life, and longer if both you and your child wish to continue.

* To Know More please check breastfeeding area.

Your 20-month-old

What's your toddler doing? At 20 months, your child should be able to run, though not as smoothly as he'll be able to later. He may also go up stairs by himself, but he'll most likely need some help on the way down. He can probably kick a ball, too, yet hasn't gotten the hang of jumping or throwing overhand.

He's active in less desirable ways as well. Small children frequently resort to hitting, pushing, biting, tugging, and other frowned-on actions to make themselves feel more important but also to experiment: What happens when I hit Kaitlin? Will the same thing happen when I hit Justin? Don't overreact to your toddler's behavior. If you retaliate by hitting, it teaches that hitting is okay. Calmly make clear that such actions are never acceptable — no matter how intensely he's feeling.

Toddlers are naturally curious about everything — including their genitals. Just as they played with fingers and toes when they were younger, they'll begin to play with their genitals now. It's nothing to worry about — unless it's happening nonstop. When your child touches himself in public, don't make a huge deal about it. Just explain that some things are done only at home in private.

How your life is changing: Your toddler is very attached to you, but of course you can't always be together. When you or another important adult leaves, it can be unsettling for your child, who relies on your presence to feel secure. Ease transitions by letting him know beforehand that you're going to leave, and then don't drag out your exit. Give him a quick kiss, and be off.

Parent Tip: How to Avoid "No" "Instead of telling my son no all the time, which can lead to power struggles, try saying things like, "Let's try eating with our fork," "Let's not play with the lamp cord right now — let's color instead." You'll find that giving your child a way out that facilitates communication and listening really pays off." —Mary

Your 19-month-old's behavior: Raising a well-behaved child

New this month: Raising a well-behaved child

What does discipline mean to you? Your definition of this fundamental part of parenting will determine your approach to it. If you think of disciplining your child as training him to do what you want him to do, you will be frustrated. On the other hand, if you think of discipline as teaching your child the limits of acceptable behavior, you will help him develop into a responsible and independent person.

To cut down on power struggles as your toddler strives for independence, make sure you treat him the way you'd like to be treated. Try compromise instead of commands — he'll respond more amicably. "You can't go outside right now," you might say if it's time for a nap instead, "but we can read a book now and take a nap and go outside later." Instead of "You must pick up the blocks before dinner," make it "I'll pick up the puzzle pieces if you pick up the blocks."

What you can do

• Establish rules, but keep them simple and limit yourself to a few — a toddler isn't capable of keeping track of more than a few basic expectations. Make your enforcement of household rules consistent.
• Maintain a sense of humor. Remember that your toddler is a work in progress and you can't expect him to always act the way you want him to.
• Spanking does not teach children anything but fear, and that aggression is a way to solve problems.
• You must find ways of setting limits (and use your words) to assure him that even when he is doing something you don't want him to do you still love and accept him. You can kindly and firmly stop him from hurting himself or someone else by saying, "No, I can't let you do that," and remove him physically from the sandbox or top of the couch, and then reassure him that you love him.

Other developments: Sleep changes

While every child operates on his own sleep schedule, the average toddler sleeps between ten and 13 hours a day. By 19 months most children have given up their morning nap, but still sleep for about two hours in the afternoon. If you find that even one nap rejuvenates your toddler to the point that he won't go down at night without a fight, you might opt to trade afternoon "quiet" time, reading or playing quietly indoors, for a nap.

Even a tired toddler will try to postpone bedtime, at least occasionally. He loves being with you, and once he realizes that going to bed means he's missing out on some household action, he'll test you with a variety of delay tactics. "More books," "Drink of water," and "Sing a song" are common refrains. These antics may be amusing at first, but they will quickly grow tiresome. Your best bet is to find a bedtime routine, such as a bath, a story, and a song, that works, and stick with it.

Does your toddler still sleep contentedly in his crib? Count your blessings! He may be perfectly happy to go down in his crib until well past his second birthday. Or he may be such a determined climber that he's already discovered he can scale the side rails — much to your dismay. To make crib-hopping as difficult as possible, be sure to remove the padded bumper and any stuffed animals or other toys that your child could use to give him a leg up and over; the mattress should also be set on the lowest level by now. Since crib climbers are at risk for injury, if your child refuses to stay in his crib you may have to put him into a bed. Or you could invest in a crib "tent," a mesh cover (they're used in hospitals) designed to keep a toddler safely in his crib.